How I found my faith - Part 3

By this point, my faith was secure. I'm still learning though. Every day. I don't think any living Christian ever stops learning. Each new day brings its epiphanies as well as its fierce struggles.

Being a Christian is hard. I find it incredibly hard. People come to me with such intense anger sometimes, (not anger towards me... well, not often! But anger towards other people, those they've fallen out with etc.) If any of you has ever tried advising one of these people from a Christian perspective, then you might know how tough it can be! People don't want to hear, "draw a line in the sand, move forward, and forgive." Like they want to hear that sort of nonsense when they're burning with such fury and rage! The last person I said that to felt like I wasn't being sympathetic and that I was on the enemy's side, and threw me out of their car! I was devastated. It hurt a lot.

Living by the words of the Lord Jesus Christ costs. A lot, sometimes. I won't pretend that I always walk around with an insatiable appetite for life, all beams and smiles. I don't think it's meant to work like that. Personally, I think God needs to bring us down occasionally to remind us just how much we need him.

A few weeks ago, I had a horrible experience. I'd tried going to bed at about 1am, and had been unable to sleep. I'd started to feel quite sick. Then I began to break out in a cold sweat. Soon I was shaking uncontrollably. My teeth sounded like a pneumatic drill, and I could barely talk. I nearly went and woke my dad! (And I haven't done that since I was about 10 years old!) Initially, I tried to convince myself that it wasn't happening, or that it would pass, or it wasn't as bad as I thought, and just told myself to relax, breathe slowly, and wrap myself up in my duvet! But it only got worse. All humanist masterplans thwarted, I pleaded with God. "I beg you God," I chattered. "Please make this stop."

That instant, the shaking ceased. My body stopped. No chatter, no sickness. It was confusing. I even tried to make myself chatter again, but couldn't. Aghast, but hugely relieved, I thanked God over and over and over, and as I did, I felt the surge of energy flow through my body once more, the familiar touch of the Holy Spirit.

It may sound miraculous. For me, it really was. I may also sound... not quite so miraculous! You were shaking, and then you stopped! So what? This story on its own can't prove anything to any non-Christian. The most it can be is food for thought. I think proof has to be personal, and people have to be prepared to find their own proof, and subsequent faith, for themselves. I don't believe that it will be given on a plate.

If you have questions, ask them. God can't answer questions for people if they don't ask, in the same way that no one can possibly expect to win the lottery if they never buy a ticket!